on priorities

 

As a start to the New Year, I hope to use this space to encourage myself and others to make more time for themselves and to be more aware of their mental health, the topic of evaluating one’s priorities right seeming appropriate to the way in which I would like to begin 2018. This was all sparked by a chance encounter I had the other day, when I happened to meet a man who had recently moved to the UK from India to study, a conversation that led me to reflect on the culture I am familiar with here in the UK. While fixing my phone, he described in detail his town and friends back home, it being clear that – however many positive aspects there are to the UK- there are certain crucial things that many in this country often neglect to the detriment of their quality of life. In India, so he said, his friends were up for a good time whereas in the UK. they had to be painfully persuaded before they might go out or relax. Newly arrived, he was keen to explore and sought to take a round trip to Scotland, asking his new flat mates to come along. Shockingly, they only agreed to come once he had offered to pay for them, later allowing him to shoulder the entire financial burden as they were too concerned about ‘wasting’ their precious time and money on such an excursion.

This is telling of the attitude that pervades society as I know it, the man aptly using the word ‘conservative’ to describe the British attitude to having a good time. It is important to point out, however, that this may have been because he was a student, hence money and time do become legitimate excuses for not going on lengthy, expensive trips around the country. Additionally, I should make clear that by ‘having a good time’ I am not referring to the culture of binge drinking and burnout that I and so many others, particularly young people, are so accustomed to. Instead, by that term I make reference to things that bring genuine and lasting pleasure, that are conducive to true satisfaction and mental well being, examples including going out (or in) to have dinner with close friends, visiting a museum or art gallery, going for a walk or out to see a movie or a musician perform live. These activities need not be expensive or even particularly time-consuming, encompassing anything that brings joy such as a casual coffee morning or trip to the cinema. Though these sound so simple, my own experience indicates that there are so many things that get in the way which make these practically impossible or even seem like overly indulgent ways to spend one’s time.

Not meaning to make any generalizations, I would ask one to compare this mindset to the cafe culture of the continent or nightlife of central and southern America, where restaurants and bars are open till late and customers often sit chatting into the small hours. It is this that I perceive many in the UK to be lacking, this flexibility and openness to pleasure, particularly among those of my own generation. As cliched as it is, I would say that here we seem to have our priorities wrong, valuing productivity over pleasure, industriousness over indolence and wealth over well-being which we would do well to reevaluate and place more importance on making time and space for ourselves over the coming year.

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